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January 25th, 2008
08:31 am
Jan 25/08
I am home alone today because I have no exams. The last ones are on Monday. French and Science, stupid teacher doesn't give a fuck if we're ready, for science that is. Today, I am cleaning, studying and walking my dogs for at least half an hour.
My break fast was about 80 cal -Egg Beaters plus veg and one spray of PAM
Nothing else for today until my family comes home, I will have to lie about lunch, and say I just ate the wrap I didn't eat from yesterday for lunch. Yah, I am going to throw that out.
Please, let us have something I can stand for dinner. Either way I AM going to have the smallest amount possible if any.
Note to self: If you mess up again tonight, that's another cut. You MUST not mess up.
I am worried for gym class next semester because I have a cut 'F' on my arm (I add a letter line for every screw up(to FAT)), and we are going to have wear t-shirts, so:
-No mess-ups, no more captions for your body
-wear a band-aid over it until it's healed to hide it
Also the cuts on my thigh may freak people out in the change room...hard to explain those...I guess I will just have a corner spot in the change room
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/blank.gif) blank
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November 29th, 2007
07:12 pm - Ugh
I went on such a huge binge coulda had a great day, but couldnt help my self..4 weeks til fated trip
Started off with a tea from timmies => 50
An orange => don't really know let's go with 50
Dad brought me a chocolate milk because I didnt have time for lunch, whatevs =. 150 >:(
Pita-267 :'(
FROGOURT=> 100
chunk of cheese...cereal...ahhhh!
I gotta go brush my teeth!
600 today..better than I thought actually...but still! My legs will never shrink!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/worried.gif) depressed
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November 28th, 2007
09:37 pm - PIZZA
Today was just unfortunate, but it happened
At lunch I had nothing ready of course, but then my oh so casual friend had forgotten hers, and so bought 6 cookies from this school fundraiser
to share
with people like me who "forgot" their lunch
at a meeting where I really couldnt say, oh I can get something later
Then when I came back from my hair thing the same person intercepted me, saying hey have you had your dinner yet!?
I really did have no money
but she insisted on paying
I suck at saying no
I hate a big slice of pizza absolutely covered in greasy...gooey cheese...ugh!
Later on at work it made me sick, so I had to go home
Never eating there again
Really don't have a problem with that
I had to have a yogourt to soothe my stomach
Not horrendous, but still so bad
Especially when I'm trying to launch of some pounds before christmas
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/mad.gif) frustrated
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November 27th, 2007
11:51 pm - Nov. 27
A month is all I have to be ready.
Ready to look good in a bathing suit.
Be as skinny as my infatuation.
Not be ashamed of myself beside my sister
uh oh..here comes dad...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/concern.gif) anxious
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November 24th, 2007
11:00 pm
I haaate the weekend sometimes it just so much more tempting eat stuff especially when your parents can make the yummy food!
Binged today had an extra bowl of effing CHILI and frozen yogourt
waaaay to screw up your weekend again
I did run tho....but still, so many cals!
Tomorrow I am just having a bit of dinner and running
Plz don't make me have breakfast again, mummy!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/annoy.gif) disappointed
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November 22nd, 2007
09:55 am - My Day Off
I'm really worried I'll break with all this time on my hands, and it's so cold I hate cleaning with numb feet
I could go for a run it is still snowing and I am a wimp!
Oh well, I prolly will after I do my cleaning, I get paid to clean our house haha it's that bad
Today I am just watering myself and a bit of whatever we have...they'll prolly call me to ask me what I want, but I bet we will do borritos, so mine is gonna be mostly lettuce! aha
Tomorrow we are taking a trip to the ROM which means fast food galore will be the only option and my mum is in charge of the trip so she will probably need to see me eat SOME thing, yay salad!
Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Shade of the Poison Tree
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September 4th, 2007
08:39 pm - progress
A few days ago, I told my mum about starting a vegan diet, for the month, just to see if it helps because I want to become more "streamlined" :P. She took it quite well, she asked me things like are you sure? willl you be able to go without cheese and eggs? Yes, mum but ya know, it also includes all the other milk products. I told we already eat a lot of stuff that doesnt have eggs or milk (mexican and pasta). Recently I have observed a 7lb change. My running is more frequent and claries stay under at least 800, woo me!
Today:Sept 4
Random breakfast nibbles: >50
A few bites of salad: >40
Half a crystal light drink: >5
Small bowl of spaghetti: ~210
Total: 305
+ Rugby practice!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/smilec.gif) satisfied
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September 2nd, 2007
10:49 am - Vegan
So I am announcing to my mum that I am going on a vegan DIET. I'm already a vegetarian which is just like normal, and she knows that I like hate my legs and shit. She doesnt really know I have an eating thing, so it'll just be like oh all right I wish you could see how beautiful you are and blahblahblah, but all right.
I've been doing bad at restricting lately, but I think this will help, especially when I get back on track.
Nervous to tell her though!
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August 31st, 2007
10:30 am - Aug 31
I am starting what I call my grocery list. What I eat every day to keep track of every crime.
Special K chocolate cereal - 170
Green Tea - 0/?
Corn cakes and broiled tomatoes - 400?
Ass cream - 1000000000000! :'( so awful!
Total - approx 1000
Sept 1 Going out to lunch with grandparents, will get a salad and diet coke...unless they're cooking, then help me god!
Special K chocolate cereal - 170
Salad and water - I'm guessing....150 's let's say
Dole Smoothie Popsicle - 100
Enchiladas.... - at least 500 :'(
There was other stuff...so let's just round it off to a heart piercing 1500
Plan for tommz
NO breakfast - go running while they eat waffles
Strawberry yogourt at Tim's - 150, or a tea - 50
omgsh stuff from timmy's is also so fattening! the yogourt was the best I could do!
Under the volcano - diet coke plus taco salad - 350(?)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/ghost.gif) nervous
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June 16th, 2007
10:25 am - My proana goals
Goals to Perfection:
1. To fast-300 cals every day
2. Get daily exercise
3. Never whine about my body (out loud)
4. Make a 'big' impression on return to Gr. 10 in september
5. Buy a dress a size lower by the end of July or sooner!
6. Never feel obligated to eat, but family meals are a must
7. No full cal soda shall pass these lips.
8. The smallest serving is the ONLY option
9. Never let anyone call you fat! (okay, so I don't think anyone would lol :P)
10. To be complimented on how skinny you are for once!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/shy.gif) hopeful
Current Music: Love Is - Allanah Myles (random)
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10:05 am - Junkfood hangover
Was at a pool party last night. And as my friends will never gain weight no matter what they eat. There was a lot of junk food. It was so tempting, and I had been sooo good the past week. I stopped calorie counting it was so bad. I'm trying not to dwell on it, and pretending it never happened, so I will continue my fast-300 cal lifestyle. I probably gained like 3 pounds. The only exercise I had that day was gym (beach volley ball and ultimate frisbee) and of course swimming, but I don't think that would do much. So pissed. At least today I have tons of homework to do that will keep me busy...not much time to workout though :(
I can't believe all the crap I ate
I'm so ashamed
Next time I "won't feel well"
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Huellas Del Pasado
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